Have A Seat On The Old Man’s Lap

from This Way, Santa by The Bird Calls

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lyrics

i got a job at the Fairgrounds Mall
dressing up as Santa Claus
close enough to the food court halls
that i can smell the arteries clog

got to admit i kinda feel like a fraud
i don't even believe in God
but here i sit perpetuating it all
asking brats what they really want

have a seat on the old man's lap
tell him if you've been good or bad
have a seat on the old man's lap
whisper in his ear
what you want this year
have a seat on the old man's lap

have a seat on the old man's lap
a lump of coal or a pile of crap
have a seat on the old man's lap
the beard stinks and the clothing fits all wrong
but hey, a job's a job
so have a seat on the old man's lap

closing time is about 11 o'clock
the closest bar is just a couple of blocks
it's Christmas Eve, i look down at my watch
there's no time to take the costume off

there's a lady sitting across the bar
she says to me, "hey there handsome, i know who you are
you were talking to my kid but i was checking you out from afar
my Christmas wish came true after all"

i slid real close to her and i said

have a seat on the old man's lap
got something for you in my burlap sack
have a seat on the old man's lap
i ain't working overtime
but hell, for just one night
have a seat on the old man's lap

have a seat on the old man's lap
tell him if you've been good or bad
have a seat on the old man's lap
whisper in his ear
what you want this year
have a seat on the old man's lap

credits

from This Way, Santa, released December 4, 2020

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The Bird Calls New York, New York

samsodomsky.substack.com

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