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Carving An Arc

by The Bird Calls

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1.
there was a layer of earth and a layer of clouds and i was somewhere in between them didn't feel like myself as i floated around suspended by the feeling veins run through the ceiling with the blood from the blueprint it's been a whole lot for these walls to live up to to wind up right back where you started from it's a reunion well i knew it was useless but i had to try to stop the time from turning felt the light in my eyes adjust to ordinary life like a miracle reversing i didn't want to say it so i cut off the ending and stopped the trip dead in its tracks trains roll backwards and i'm home at last it's a reunion
2.
left the spirit when i left the house didn't know where i was going rushing forward like an airplane taking off things that are impossible and things that are not from this vantage i surveyed the landscape until it lost its familiar outline noticed how it all seemed unified things we tried to show off and what we kept inside people on their rooftops looking up so i tried to look majestic free in my own way but i was flailing losing steam things we had to pay for and what we got for free traffic lights swing in all directions flags wave on suburban driveways there is no one in the world but you and me tonight things that we took with us and what we left behind
3.
choking on a sucker's punchline and savoring the applause some heroes get to reign in their own time and others have to wait 'til they're gone i spent the weekend trying to remember the words to the song eventually said forget it and sold the whole catalog and what do you know? everything must go i dreamed that i had joined the drumline in heaven's marching band where the crowd spills out in the sunshine and hell's angels wait in the stands i can't remember how i got all this blood on my hands in the corner of my eye i see you starting to dance and nothing's for free well that's news to me well i got this guitar and i learned how to make it squawk the feedback filled the sky like a thick cloud of fog and they sectioned off the block for a sidewalk woodstock we were ready to rock 'til the waiting felt like music and the music felt like work and i'm choking on a sucker's punchline
4.
finally felt the weight of things with newfound self-consciousness addressing the issue of who wears the pants and skirting around it was digging a hole to bury my worries in when i found it unearthing atlantis alone hope was the thing we cashed in on and fled unburdened little enclaves of light in an otherwise blank slate fireworking unearthing atlantis alone
5.
tugged at a tear in your fabric this was life how we dreamt it help was wanted but went unmentioned pages and pages of taglines just pick one you like and let's go for a drive introducing something tragic considered in terms of worsts and bests resisting the urge for permanence only wanted things to last a little bit longer let's say the future's not happening and the past's a happy accident i just noticed how you started slowing down and i feel better when you're around in the gap between art and the artist from home to where the heart is some songs are oak trees and some are sawdust sung through the walls of apartments slipped in the cracks of an argument never said it but i meant it imagined in terms of firsts and lasts retraced our tracks with nervous laughs initials carved in the undead bark of a public park let's say the past is not happening and the future's not what we planned it is still riding high, still enjoying the ride the closest thing to heaven while you're alive let's say the future's not happening and the past's a happy accident i just noticed how you started slowing down and i feel better when you're around
6.
Betrayed 02:14
i was waiting for the right time to say it and i let the silence take the stage it was more delicate than i could have been and left less room for misinterpretation i wanted to say i felt betrayed betrayed, betrayed between the rays where i spent my days i felt betrayed you just kind of stood there i wasn't even sure you noticed you had been looking for some cord to plug your phone in meanwhile i was being interviewed in my head long after the event and anyone who watched me said i came off wise and eloquent and all i could say was i felt betrayed betrayed, betrayed beaten and afraid in the face of change i felt betrayed
7.
a damning testimony from a close friend the headlines say you're hanging by a clothespin who would pay a penny for your secrets i could write those dream scenes while i'm sleeping accidental glamour didn't mean to turn you on the court room sketch it showed you crack a smile if looks could kill you wouldn't need a trial you moved on from desperation to denial to depression to anger then to Ohio accidental glamour didn't see you standing there and how long have you been watching what i'm doing? and how long did it take 'til you'd seen through it? a maze of backroads then you hit the turnpike changed your name and started working part-time the cameras caught your face right as it turned white flashed before my eyes just like a past life accidental glamour tripped and landed in your prime but you were once a friend of mine
8.
Reckless 02:34
i wanted to feel reckless to wind up somewhere different to trade one feeling for another and feel closer to each other 'til it's dangerous i wanted intimacy access to the part that no one sees in this way i thought i'd try to get to know you when i got down to the showroom it was closed to me i was soaked in sweat and bored to tears still crazy after all these years i feel reckless do you think this part's worth writing down i'll hop a train and then leave town i feel reckless i wanted to change everything to shed the skin that i'd been hiding in i had managed to convince myself i was finally seeing clear but i was spiraling i felt a sense of urgency that made the words emerge impulsively i watched them strive to grow up better fail to live to their potential and float back to me find your voice and work with it in the last place that you look for it i feel reckless get used to craving what you can't afford when god closes a window my love opens a door i feel reckless

about

songs from my new apartment
written and recorded between June and October 2021

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released November 12, 2021

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The Bird Calls New York, New York

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